Transitions – Haibun

by | Oct 23, 2013 | Uncategorized | 6 comments

By Rabbi Sheila Peltz Weinberg

This transition in my life from full time to part time work and toward retirement and old age is reflected in the season. It is a dappled time. It is a golden time.

Golden sunshine
Bright golden leaves
Nearly blinding

I move toward acceptance and wisdom, deeply wanting to give myself away, but in a different way. I want to enjoy life, feel nurtured, and truly embrace the love in my life.

Dappled dry leaves
Crunching under my foot
As I kiss the ground

I want the spiritual awareness that I have unearthed to be realized fully so it can serve as a beacon, a witness to God and others – a witness to my purpose and my legacy.

The oldest tree in Pennsylvania
Embraces me;
We have one mother.

And there are challenges – like strength and energy and especially balance. Also just remembering. And getting so tired. And habitual striving. Habitual good girl. And the pain in my face, my jaw. Frustration and fear are still here.

Amazing standing log
Upright on three legs,
A face but no roots.

Dreaming again
Wanting solace,
There’s only change.

Roots, yes, I have them. Some are crumbling, being questioned. Still I have Torah, Jewish community, the world of mysticism, wisdom literature, poetry, music. There is so much to draw upon. NO reason to despair.

Many trees with split trunks
Divided in two,
How well I know.

In many ways less divided now, clearer, knowing when to say yes and no, not needing a face anymore, not wanting to appear as anything or anyone. The time is urgent. The tasks are immense. I want to recall to call upon the Source of All.

Every leaf and nut
Knows it is the season
To return in love.

Returning to the Source of faith and love. What else gave birth to everything and what else awaits us at the end? Miracle of miracles. No matter who you are.

Super large magnolia leaves
Fallen, dried and brown,
Size no safe haven.

Neither size nor accomplishment, brilliance, cleverness, wit, not even friendliness, lovability.
We all return to the earth like the leaves in autumn.

And there still is plenty to unfold, perhaps. Who knows? Staying open. New teachers, new friends, new students, children, learning, all blessings. New struggles, new campaigns, losses and victories – who knows?

Delicate mini oak leaves
Still perfectly green
This time of year.