Before anything else, I want to say thank you to the many readers who wrote last week to offer their condolences on the loss of my cousin Julian. My family and I have been surrounded in love and support. It means the world to all of us. Thank you.
Among the reasons I wish my father was still alive is that I know how much he would delight in observing me coming to appreciate lessons he offered—and that I resisted in my youth, when, like plenty of others, I was convinced I knew everything better than he did. There are small things, like waiting to run the dishwasher until you have a full load. There are bigger things, like the chart he once drew for me plotting left- and right-wing political views on the horizontal axis, and democracy and autocracy on the vertical—a reminder of the limitations and imperfections of political parties, political systems, and human beings.
While my dad wasn’t one to say, “I told you so,” he did like quoting a line from Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner’s “The Two Thousand- and Thirteen-Year-Old Man” (sequel to the original and a favorite in our home): “We mock the thing we are to be.” Yep.
In my teaching these days, I find the phrase “hold it lightly” coming up a lot. A classic image in Buddhist teaching is holding a quail: if you hold the bird too tightly in your hands, you’ll crush it. If you open your hands too much, it will fly away. So, be like Goldilocks: Hold it just right. That is, hold it, but hold it lightly. Don’t cling—but also, don’t necessarily fully let go either.
I find that image applicable in so many realms. It’s helpful in my meditation practice, where my aim is to be gentle with my mind, body, feelings, and sensations. It’s helpful in relationships of all kinds, from family to customer service reps. It’s helpful in text study (which is, after all, another kind of relationship) where I find it reflects another image I’ve long taught, that of a game of tetherball: If the text is the pole and the reader is the ball, then you want to stay tethered, but you also want some dynamic tension in the rope—otherwise there’s no game.
Two Hasidic teachings on one of Parashat Shoftim’s most famous lines, “Justice, justice shall you pursue,” (Deuteronomy 16:18) reflect this sensibility of holding lightly. First, the Sefat Emet:
“The Torah writes ‘pursue’ (tirdof). This is because it is impossible to arrive fully at the ultimate reality of truth within this world of falsehood (Alma D’Shikra). Therefore, one must always pursue justice—to know that one has not yet reached perfect truth. Rather, when one pursues justice in this world, one attains it in its complete perfection in the World to Come. And this is what is written: ‘…so that you may live and inherit [the land]’—which gestures at the World to Come, a world that is entirely life.”
The Sefat Emet reminds us, first of all, that while truth is indeed the ground of reality, it’s also impossible to arrive at fully in this world. Thus, the Torah tells us to pursue justice—which is founded on truth—so as to help us remember that truth is ever-elusive. So, hold it, but hold it lightly. Keep some healthy humility even as you pursue what is true and right.
Which brings us to Rabbi Zev Wolf of Zbarazh (d. 1822), a student of the Ba’al Shem Tov, who offers a related teaching on this verse:
“The Evil Inclination (Yetzer Hara) has many ways to trap a person in its net. Just as it uses schemes to entice the human heart toward wickedness, so too does it sometimes entice a person toward excessive righteousness—so that one will try to be an absolute tzaddik. Against this, the Torah warns us: ‘Justice, justice’—justice in moderation— ‘shall you pursue.’ Do not practice excessive piety, for sometimes this too is among the tactics of the Evil Inclination. ‘Do not be overly righteous’ (Ecclesiastes 7:16).”
Both of these teachings emphasize the point of holding, but holding lightly: pursuing truth, but recognizing that we can never fully grasp it; judging but not becoming judgmental. In this season of Elul, we might extend it: Holding ourselves and others accountable, while also making room for grace and forgiveness. And in this increasingly violent world of political and cultural polarization, we might also apply it to our bigger conflicts.
All of that work begins in our own hearts and minds. May our preparation for the coming New Year help us do it together.
For Reflection & Conversation
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How easy or hard do you find it to hold things lightly? Are there certain things that are easier or harder for you to hold lightly? If so, why? What might it feel like to soften your grip? What might it feel like to hold on a little tighter?