The other day I had coffee with a friend after work. We both were in a state of anguish about the violence in Israel and Palestine. She confessed that she was feeling despair; how could things ever get better? What could possibly be the catalyst for real change?
I thought about all the postings I see on social media. Ever since we learned of the murder of Naftali, Gilad and Eyal, and then the murder of Muhammed, and then the rockets and bombings, so much of the rhetoric has been justifying one side or the other or expressions of hopelessness. I feel the impact it has on my heart: I feel defended, closed, self-righteous. I experience how anger leads to more anger, despair to more despair. I feel my heart hardening into accepting the status quo cycles of violence and hatred as inevitable.
But it could be different.
How? I am so far away and so small. I am not naïve enough to think I can have any impact on Hamas or Netanyahu or anyone else who has power and weapons. And I am also not naïve enough to think that I am completely powerless.
If I want more hope, I have to add hope back into the system. If I want more openness to peace, I have to work on examples of openness to peace. If I want a vision of what could be possible in the turbulent land that I love with a full heart, then I have to speak out and encourage others to do the same.
A small example: Zena Schulman, our Communications and Development Associate, created an image last week of the four murdered boys along with quotes from their family members denouncing murder of any kind. Zena posted it on our Facebook page, where it was quickly picked up by a Jewish newspaper. A few days later I saw the image pop up on a friend’s timeline. She had seen it on the site of a reporter from Al Jazeera who had seen it from a retweeted source. Thousands and thousands of people from very different political perspectives shared that image. Zena’s picture had struck a chord of shared humanity.
Again, I don’t believe that these small tokens will stop the violence on the other side of the world. The only place I have (even a little) control is over my own heart and my own mind. But things are fundamentally interconnected. I see that beginning with my own body. When one part of my body is injured, other parts shift to compensate for it. Small things in one place create reactions in other places. And we can’t always predict how things will unfold.
We can indeed sit with anger, hatred and despair. And we can take political action in ways that make sense to us. But there is also something subversive about contributing to the discourse in a way that fosters the kind of openness that each side deplores the other side for lacking. Things do not have to be this way. I believe this with perfect faith.
If you agree, please add your voice. Let others know of your hope, your openness, your vision. Share examples of people you know who are living in Israel and Palestine and who inspire you in thinking things can be different, better. And God willing, may it soon be so.
Thank you for this message that gave voice to much of what I have been feeling. Despair, hopelesssness, sadness, anger, frustration at all of the hate.Your suggestions of what we each can do in our own way is so helpful.
thanks for this. I was i israel for the last month and i am truly tormented. My son as you know wants to justify what we are doing.I cannot
I am broken hearted and feel really dis spirited
this helped
MUCH love
janice
Dear Lisa – Sending deep gratitude for your message and the pictures of Naftali, Gilad, Eyal and Muhammad. Naming them – repeatedly – renews the sadness. Seeing them “together” can make me feel hopeless. I do not want to feel hopeless.
My friend, Ilene Prusher, who lives in Israel and writes for Ha’aretz, refuses to let the feelings of gratitude and love she feels for her community abate as a result of these horrible murders. In her writings, she speaks of humaneness and fairness, true equality for all.
I recently broke a bone in my foot and it has caused me to slow down, be somewhat dependent upon others and to immerse myself in the gratitude for that place inside where I can go and find comfort.
May we all be inspired to never give up striving for what makes sense and for holding on to our optimism.
Read an incredible article this am about Israel being morally justified to bomb but strategically stupid. Thought I’d share it. bit.ly/1qCLfPv by Damon Linker author of Theocons and New Republic contributor.
We will honor our common Creator by accepting nothing less than the promotion, encouragement, discussion, and ultimately accepting the peace that allows us to live together. In this way we were created. In this way it should be honored. Every act against a means or end that results in peace is a disrespect for ourselves and for our Creator. Things do not have to be this way. This is a choice that we are given the will to make.
Thank your Lisa for this both concrete and inspiring example of lighting a flame of hope. I felt myself letting go, taking a deeper breath than i was taking before i read your post. Just as we have to sit with the pain and despair, it helps to allow the hope in. Kol Tuv, Barbie
Lisa, Thank you so much for expressing what so many of us are feeling .And the pictures of the boys just breaks my heart…
We know that anger only begets more anger, violence gets more violence and retaliation gets more bombs and missiles…Why don’t our leaders know that?
My prayers are with the parents of these children, for Israel and for the Palestinians.
Suzanne
Lisa – Thank you for your deep wisdom and gentle inspiration.
Parker Palmer once told me: “You’re only as deep as your deepest contradiction.” For me – it’s a time to hold on to brokenness and hope, despair and faith, loving and fighting, at the same time. I am reconciled that I know very little of the big picture – that only God is seeing – and so I carry my contradictions with the awareness that, even with the best intentions, some things may have no resolution during my short time on this planet. So it goes.
Dear Lisa — thank you for sharing your sentiments. Last evening at end of the fast for the 17th Day of Tammuz, I attended a concluding gathering where the following quote from the Jewish Forward was read — July 6, 2014 issue. This has to do with a visit to the home of the Frankels in Chevron. A Palestinian visitor was quoted as saying ” Things will only get better when we learn to cope with each other’s pain and stop getting angry at each other. Our task is to give strength to the family and also to take a step toward my nation’s liberation. We believe that the way to our liberation is through the hearts of Jews.” Do you see something as I do that is a bit skewed in his last statement? Is it really all our fault? Don’t changes have to be made in their hearts as well? Israel is much further along in opening their hearts to the Arabs than they are to us. We gave them Gaza for their national homeland, causing untold hardships to our own people for the sake of peace. And what did we get? Hateful actions and indoctrination of hatred heaped on their children through their educational system and rockets. You can not make peace unless both sides want peace.
Lisa, thank you. Also thinking about the open and closed heart during this time. Yesterday we mourned the breaching of the wall around Jerusalem. Jerusalem is the heart. the heart has a wall around it which keeps it safe. The breaching of the wall leads to devastation, exile, and an eternal sense of vulnerability.
There is another image of the heart in the Torah of being closed and encased in a bad way. G-d will “circumcise” our hearts, cut away the enclosing shell.
In this tug of war on the heart to be open and to be closed I think of these two images of heart: Orlat halev and Homot Yerushalayim
Dear Lisa,
Thank you so much for speaking so gently about what is in our hearts and on our minds. I, too have never felt so helpless, and yet.. . The photo of stones accompanying this brought me a vision of seeing “And they shall beat their swords into plowshares,” written in many languages all over the wall separating our two countries (Israel/Palestine). So may it be written, so may it be done.
Every mindful word and action has an effect, somehow, somewhere.
L’chesed,
Carol
Lisa, Thank you for sending us a guiding way to live with all this anguish.
I pray for my friends in Jerusalem as well as for all of us. To send thoughts of forgiveness forward in hope that the energy will blast past the hatred.
Ann
I am so glad I saw your post. The deep pain in my heart has been building so. I did not know where to turn, what to do, what to say. Just hearing your words, knowing I am not alone in my anguish and hearing positive possibilities let me open to my own grief. I couldn’t get past the grief until I let myself feel it fully. Grief for our brothers and sisters in Israel, grief for the Palestinian people being held hostage in their lives by Islamist terrorists, grief for a world that I love so dearly, that is so precious, and being treated with such distain. Your words have given me hope, Thank You.
My son posted something today on facebook asking people to speak of visions of peace. Not naively I hope, but realizing that what we hope to come to pass can only happen if we envision it. He too is asking people to speak up with ways to foster love and tolerance across the globe. His post is #shareforpeace.
Both of your voices are like two buddies, arm in arm on either side gathering strength as we walk forward.
May our hearts expand with love, peace and blessings until it envelopes all.
I am neither Jewish nor Muslim; however, I share with many others the heartbreak and pain of these families who are losing lovedones, especially little children. I’ve prayed over the years that peace will come to this area of the world. I have gone back and forth recently believing I’ll never witness peace there before I die. However, after reading LIsa’s blog this morning I want to once again believe that peace will come to them. Thanks so much Lisa for sharing your thoughts wIth us.
Frances Collins Moore